Funny answering machine messages

Following are some best and Funny answering machine messages please enjoythese answering machine messages:

Hey dear hi how are you I am a machine. Why do you hate talking to me? I never hurt anybody. Can we talk after the beep please?

Hello my dear, this is John's toaster. John's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so kindly leave your valuable message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

Roses are red, sea are weep, please leave your message, after the beep (beeeeep)
Owner is a hard to reach man Yes, I finally got an answering machine. beep beep beep! Please leave a message at the tone deep.

Thank you for calling 011 our offices are closed because everyone is at the market.....please leave your message..
Hello..hello.... I'm not home at the moment so.....please record what you want to say me...
Greetings, this is your answering machine officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ....tak to me what you want...
Funny Answering Machine Messages Funny phone calls and Answering machine messages! unny voicemail messages| funny cell phone messages....

Hi. This is John:
If you are my parents, please send money as i need.
If you are my friends, you owe me money sure.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money call me again oy leave your cell number.
If you are my financial institution, you didn't lend me enough money.

Hi, I'm not home right now but my help ooficer is here, so you can talk to it instead. please Wait for the beep...
I'm not here right now, so say goodbye, or leave a your message, and I'll reply soon.....

Actually this is a funny answering machine, so if you really want to talk to me ask something after the beep...
I'm sorry but the owner of the house is tied up right now ....so kindly call later....

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his TV. So Please speak very slowly, othe wise...., and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets...than you..

Hello dear how are you I'm at home right now but unable find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find my phone....

Hi, this is John. I'm very sorry I can't answer the my phone right now. Leave your message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.